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The two photos of Laura were taken during her weekly training workshop about a year before she passed away at the age of eighty-five. Real creativeness, in my experience, is inextricably linked with the awareness of mortality. Later on another girl came in, with whom I have remained friends...

The sharper this awareness, the greater the urge to bring forth something new, to participate in the infinitely continuing creativeness in nature, This is what makes out of sex, love; out of the herd, society; out of wheat and fruit, bread and wine; and out of sound, music. Easter Weekend, 1986 Gestalt Institute of Cleveland As the time began there were 16 of us, sitting in chairs in a circle.

There have been a lot of ups and downs—realising someone very important to me is very sick; finding out I got a scholarship for my course; meeting my uncle for the first time since I was 8; getting good book reviews; getting bad book reviews; letting go of one big friendship; travelling all around the place; saying a thousand freaking goodbyes to people, the majority of whom I won’t see again; finishing work; continuing to meet new people (that’s the problem with goodbyes—they lead to more hellos! I’ve met some amazing people this year, done some crazy things, had an awesome flatmate and been on a zillion adventures (dragging poor JFord along to most of them). It really is all too much and too overwhelming, so I’m pretty much pushing it all to the back of my mind and focusing on getting through things one step at a time.

Even where I’ve lived in the same city before, I’ve moved from house to house as leases expired etc, and so this is the most stable my life has ever been.

There is not one mention of the Cologne attacks, aside from in news reports. Feminist writers are not famed for holding their tongues – as individuals who have been hanged, drawn and quartered by them can attest.


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